why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You can't special order awesome
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize