somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
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it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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