New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
