No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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