Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
