ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
