my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
