God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
