the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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