would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
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just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
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100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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