She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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