Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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