if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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