I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Is it because I queefed?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
