Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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