Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize