Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
