You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize