I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
