How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
