Pregnant stripper...not hot.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
