if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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