I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
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Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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