I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
