how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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