Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
