Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
false alarm, still single
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
