so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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