So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
