Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
