You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
