after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
