Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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