when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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