You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i barfeds in our rink
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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