you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
