i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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