I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize