he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
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All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
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Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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