i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
