Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
