I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
