why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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