just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
