it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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