I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
