booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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