i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
