Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
A+ Viking dick
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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