Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
