Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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