please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?