We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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