I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
