I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
