I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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