We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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