'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
