it was like eating out sand paper
my being single is dangerous.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
